Too long, too gone.......

Well this is the first time i have really ever doen anything like this so i think it only fair i say a little about myself first. I am a 28 year old kid. I do not mean that i am young, i just mean most think of me that way because of the way i look and act. I was married for a few years, but it did not work out no matter how much i tried, or wanted it to. I guess marriage should be more about love then lust. Who knew. Right now i am living with my sister and brother-in-law. A big reason for this is i use to be this hugely confident guy. I never had trouble getting girls to like me, or just going out and having a good time. After my divorce that pretty much all changed. I am afraid to really talk to anyone any more. Not because they might think i am some huge asshole, but because i really have nothing to offer anyone besides me right now.....and who wants that right?

Not much happens in my life really anymore. I am addicted to a game. Yep a game. I know all the cool kids are doing the drugs, but i can just be someone else in the game. Someone i like. All through High School i was what could be considered a closet Nerd. I collected comic books, trading cards, and other things i was too ashamed to let anyone else know about. That has pretty much followed me into my adulthood. Sometimes i wish i could be more like the old me, but then again i like my new friends who are also hooked on the same game. Even though 3 years ago or so i would not have even talked to them, now they fit into my life just fine......sad yet? It is okay i will wait for you to get a tissue before i go on.

I have a little niece who i adore. She is so cute, and always wanting to be just like me. When i get a poptart she has to have one. If i am drinking something she has to have it too. I am starting to think she is my little shadow, and that might be great since i am not sure i will ever venture out there and find the girl of my dreams.....last one messed me up pretty bad and even though i never show emotions, which i should probably see someone about sooner or later, it still hurts that i put so much into something and came out of it on the wrong end. And by wrong end i mean thousands and thousands of dollars of debt that was all in my name, which i agreed to keep since i was a sucker.

My friend had suggested i write a blog, cause it helps get things out and she might be right. Just not sure if this is all for me and such. Who knows i might stick with it, turn my life around, get back to looking what i looked liked a while ago and have a family some day. Or i might just turn off the computer go to bed. Get up do the same exact shit i did today and then keep on with the lame life i have right now........tune in tommorrow and see.