Well this is the first time i have really ever doen anything like this so i think it only fair i say a little about myself first. I am a 28 year old kid. I do not mean that i am young, i just mean most think of me that way because of the way i look and act. I was married for a few years, but it did not work out no matter how much i tried, or wanted it to. I guess marriage should be more about love then lust. Who knew. Right now i am living with my sister and brother-in-law. A big reason for this is i use to be this hugely confident guy. I never had trouble getting girls to like me, or just going out and having a good time. After my divorce that pretty much all changed. I am afraid to really talk to anyone any more. Not because they might think i am some huge asshole, but because i really have nothing to offer anyone besides me right now.....and who wants that right?
Not much happens in my life really anymore. I am addicted to a game. Yep a game. I know all the cool kids are doing the drugs, but i can just be someone else in the game. Someone i like. All through High School i was what could be considered a closet Nerd. I collected comic books, trading cards, and other things i was too ashamed to let anyone else know about. That has pretty much followed me into my adulthood. Sometimes i wish i could be more like the old me, but then again i like my new friends who are also hooked on the same game. Even though 3 years ago or so i would not have even talked to them, now they fit into my life just fine......sad yet? It is okay i will wait for you to get a tissue before i go on.
I have a little niece who i adore. She is so cute, and always wanting to be just like me. When i get a poptart she has to have one. If i am drinking something she has to have it too. I am starting to think she is my little shadow, and that might be great since i am not sure i will ever venture out there and find the girl of my dreams.....last one messed me up pretty bad and even though i never show emotions, which i should probably see someone about sooner or later, it still hurts that i put so much into something and came out of it on the wrong end. And by wrong end i mean thousands and thousands of dollars of debt that was all in my name, which i agreed to keep since i was a sucker.
My friend had suggested i write a blog, cause it helps get things out and she might be right. Just not sure if this is all for me and such. Who knows i might stick with it, turn my life around, get back to looking what i looked liked a while ago and have a family some day. Or i might just turn off the computer go to bed. Get up do the same exact shit i did today and then keep on with the lame life i have right now........tune in tommorrow and see.
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You're the only one who chooses what you do. If this is the life you want, this is the life you have. As long as it makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteChris, I'm glad to see you here. I hope that you decide to keep going with this, I enjoyed seeing you so much. I think you are a great guy, still so easy to talk to, you're a total cutie, and maybe you haven't changed quite so much as you think. I always thought and will continue to think that you are wonderful.
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